Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Who am I

Finally exams are finally over! FINALLY!

So after paper today went to get my book with Alan. Then Syasya came and went to eat at Sushi bar! Then we walked to have Mochi Sweet. Then To clarke quay for cakes at the fabulous baker then to central for ice cream then home...

Was so tired. Slept only for 2 hours plus but well after KO for 30 mins when I come back now I cant sleep... WHY OH WHY!

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt. Who am I, that the bright and morning star would choose to light the way for my ever wandering heart. Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin would look on me with love and watch me rise again. Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea would call me out through the rain and calm the storm in me. 

Not because of who I am, but because of what you've done. Not because of what I've done, but because of who you are. I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling and you catch me when I'm falling and you told me who I am, I am yours.

I am yours.


All I once held dear, build my life upon. All this world reveres, and wars to own. All I once thought gain I have counted loss. Spent and worthless now, compared to this.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Change my heart.

A pure heart that's what I long for. 
A heart that follows hard after thee.
A pure heart that's what I long for.
A heart that follows hard after Thee.

A heart that hides Your word so that sin will not come in.
A heart that's undivided but one You rule and reign.
A heart that beats compassion that pleases You my Lord.
A sweet aroma of worship that rises to your throne.

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." - Ezekiel 36 : 24

"Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from they presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of my salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit."
 - Psalm 51: 10 -12


"Soften my heart, that I can love again.  All the hurts and the pain are cast unto you, my Lord. Renew my life, Lord Jesus. I never want to be the same again. Change my heart..." 

Friday, April 25, 2014

Chasing a heart.

Follow your heart.

Some say follow your own heart and it will lead you astray.
Some say chase your own dreams that's all that matters anyway.
Well I've been there, done that, tried that, lived that way like it was all for me.
And I came back, found out, truth is, turns out to get me where I'm meant to be

I gotta follow your heart if anything is gonna count in this life.
I gotta follow your heart if I'm ever gonna make a mark on eternity.
So let heavens heartbeat always move me let my only prayer be to follow your heart, to help me follow your heart.

I don't need a 2nd opinion you just say the word, I'll go.
I don't need any convincing to walk along a narrow road.
Cause I'm all in, sold out can't turn back now.
These are more than empty words for the things that I want, I trust you God.
I'll just keep the first thing first.

I'll count it as joy to give this life away.
There's not a cost to high a price that I won't pay.

To follow your heart, follow your heart, gotta follow your heart, help me follow your heart.

Help me to follow your heart.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

A time for Everything

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to research and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."  
 Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
So now what time is it for you?

It's the time of the year where exams are round the corner and everyone is mugging their socks off. Some have started their exams and mine is tomorrow. This semester seems so short. Before you know it, exams are here. Felt so unprepared for this coming exam. So many theory subjects. Very hard to remember everything. Hopefully, I will be able to pull through.

Holiday plans got cancelled last min. So guess will be back to working my socks off to earn money and  play more ultimate.

A wonderful story that I heard....

One morning, after having his breakfast, the old man was taking a morning walk and saw a scorpion floating helpless in the water. As the scorpion was washed closer to the tree, the old man quickly stretched himself out on one of the long roots that branched out into the river and reached out to rescue the drowning creature. As soon as he touched it, the scorpion stung him. Instinctively, the man withdrew his hand. A minute later, after he regained his balance, he stretched himself out again on the roots to save the scorpion. This time the scorpion stung him so badly with its poisonous tail that his hand became swollen and bloody and his face contorted with pain.

At the moment, a young boy saw the hold man stretched out on the roots struggling with the scorpion and shouted: "Hey, stupid old man, what's wrong with you? Only a fool would risk his life for the sake of an ugly, evil creature. Don't you know you could be kill yourself trying to save that ungrateful scorpion?"

The old man turned his head. Looking into the young boy's eye he said calmly, "My friend, just because it is the scorpion's nature to sting, that does not change my nature to save."

So the man thought for a while and used a leaf from a nearby tree and pull the scorpion out from the water and saved it's life.

From this story, we learnt that do not change your nature. If someone hurts you, just take precautions. Some pursue happiness while others create it. Let your conscience be your guide in whatever you do.
 Time and time again you were hurt by someone actions, someone's words. Yet you came and offer your hands. One day they will understand you said. But that someday might never come.

A story about Kyle's friend.

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home from school. His name is Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a friday? He must really be a nerd."

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so i shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running towards him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said "Those guys are jerks. They really should get a lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would  have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes.

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the hugh stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we are seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going Duke. I  knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was a valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I say Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduations is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your fiends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.

He planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My fiend save me from doing the unspeakable.." I heard the gasp going through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

Always love this quote about friends.

"Friends are angels who lifts us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
There is no beginning or end... Yesterday is history. 
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.

When things get touch, always remember...
Faith doesn't get you around trouble, it gets you through it!!


Thursday, April 17, 2014

Let Go, Let God.

"Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken" - Psalms 55:22

Let  go and Let God simply means letting go of our own will and making this prayer "Not my will be Yours be done." Like how Jesus prayed at the garden: "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done" - Luke 22:42

My prayer has always been Dear God, Open the right door and close the wrong ones for His plan are always higher than our plans.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

In Short.

Saturday
It was qing ming so we went to the temple to pay respect to my grandparents. It was also their death anniversary. After that went to er gu house. Before going to Swensen for dinner with everyone else.

Sunday
Church in the morning. Then went to have steat at uno steakhouse. Then Hong Lim for pick up with my cousins. Then just acia for dinner again. Make a couple of new friends. Rob and Matthew. 2 ang moh who is only 16 yrs old but looks so....

Monday
With only 4 hours of sleep, attended law class, then studied after that in school till about 8 plus before going home and crashed till 11 plus...




พยายามจะทำวิธีต่างๆ ให้เธอนั้นรักฉัน
Payayahm ja tum witee dtahng dtahng hai tur nun ruk chun
I’ve tried so many different ways to get you to love me
พยายามทุกวัน มอบให้ทุกอย่างที่เธอต้องการ
Payayahm took wun maup hai took yuahng tee tur dtaung gahn
I’ve tried every day, I’ve given you everything you’ve wanted
เหมือนเดินบนสะพานที่มีปลายทางคือใจของเธอ
Meuan dern bon sapahn tee mee plai tahng keu jai kaung tur
It’s like I’m walking a bridge that leads to your heart
ยังคงคิดและหวังจะนำเอารักแท้นี้ไปให้
Yung kong kit lae wung ja num ao ruk tae nee pai hai
I’m still thinking and hoping the water will take my true love to you
(*) แต่ทำไม เดินมาเนิ่นนานไม่ถึงซักที
Dtae tummai dern mah nern nahn mai teung suk tee
So why have I been walking for so long, but I still haven’t reached you?
แต่ทำไม มองดูเส้นทางเหมือนยาวออกไป
Dtae tummai maung doo sen tahng meuan yao auk pai
Why does looking at the path does it seem so long?
อยากรู้ว่าฉันต้องทำตัวอย่างไร
Yahk roo wah chun dtaung tum dtua yahng rai
I want to know what I must do
(**) อีกไกลแค่ไหน จนกว่าฉันจะใกล้ บอกที
Eek glai kae nai jon gwah chun ja glai bauk tee
How much further is it until I’ll be near you? Tell me
อีกไกลแค่ไหนจนกว่าเธอจะรักฉัน เสียที
Eek glai kae nai jon gwah tur ja ruk chun sia tee
How much further is it until you’ll finally love me?
มีทางใดที่อาจทำให้เธอสนใจ ได้โปรด
Mee tahng dai tee aht tum hai tur son jai dai proht
Is there any way that might make you interested in me? Please
บอกกับฉันให้รู้ที ว่าสุดท้ายแล้วฉันยังมีความหมาย
Bauk gup chun hai roo tee wah soot tai laeo chun yung mee kwahm mai
Tell me, let me know if in the end I’m still significant
ยังไม่คิดยอมแพ้ ฉันเพียงแต่อ้อนล้าก็เท่านั้น
Yung mai kit yaum pae chun piang dtae aun lah gor tao nun
I’m still not considering giving up, I’m just tired, that’s all
ภายในใจยังคงรักเธอเหมือนเดิม ไม่เคยเปลี่ยน
Pai nai jai yung kong ruk tur meuan derm mai koey plian
In my heart, I still love you the same, it’s never changed
คงจะดีไม่น้อย ถ้าเธอบอกให้ฉันได้รับรู้
Kong ja dee mai noy tah tur bauk hai chun dai rup roo
It would be a big help if you told me and let me know
ความในใจของเธอ เหตุผลต่างต่างที่ยังซ่อนไว้
Kwahm nai jai kaung tur het pon dtahng dtahng tee yung saun wai
The different reasons as to why you still hide the things in your heart



It was never about you from the beginning.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

It's Yours.

Woke up from a very funny dream. Dreamt that I went to buy guitar with you. We were suppose to go parklane, but end up going to bras plaza instead. Walked into the guitar shop and there was my bro talking to the sales person. I went up and he so happened wanted to get the same one as me. Was quite frustrated cause at first I ask if he wanted to share and he said no. Said the sound was horrible and all but he end up getting what I wanted. Not wanting to have something the same, I went around trying the  other guitar I wanted. The person that accompanied me also help me in choosing my guitar. Then I saw another familar face and was shocked so I woke up.

Anyway,
Baked Rainbow cupcakes today for cuzzie. She wanted to bake or rather she wanted to play. So spend some time baking with her and spending some family time as most of my family members came over today.


Nails in you hand, nails in you feet, they tell me how much you love me. The thorns on your brow, they tell me how you bore so much shame to love me. When the heaven passed away,  all your scars will still remain and forever they will say how much you love me. And I want to say is, forever my love, forever my heart, forever my life is yours, it's yours.

'10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. 11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. 12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.' 
 Psalms 51:10 - 12 (KJV)